I need this.

this: 

I want a pair of uggs

I came across the 2010 fall lookbook but it wouldnt let me save them... so I found these.

I can totally afford a pair and I think I may have to cave in and buy them...

I bought those^^ today... 14 bucks.

but I didnt try them on with the top part rolled down like the picture....

umm so yea... I NEED to stop eating... it's all I want to do.

Im not sure what it is.... tomorrow i'm going to just enjoy myself and then we'll start the diet from then.

I bought these today too.... I love themmmm they are slippers but have a pretty thick sole so i'll be able to wear them outside.

I bought these a while ago: sorry the pic sucks... I cant figure out how to make it better lol..

To bad im too tall to wear them... and too bad Joe is 5'9'' lol.

sooo basically... until i'm very skinny they will be at the back of my closet lol.

i say lol too much....

All I want to do is eat... I feel my stomach hanging more... the fuck???

ugggg.... thinspo isn't even working for me anymore... just makes me depressed.

I know that over Christmas break I'll lose... I always do... and I NEED to get into the 140's.

Working out is a must and it's gonna happen... I was built to be an athlete and ma going to start to make it work for me.

hope you enjoyed the pics.

love you girls.

Kels.

UPDATE: so i just need to vent lol.
I just had some thin triscuit crackers....
and now I'm snackin on my diet rootbeer.
Pretty sure it's going to be my new best friend.

no food tomorrow until thanksgiving dinner.

then nothing after... well obvi desert...

then starts diet.

Friday morning i'm planning on shopping.

I need a new camera and maybe some shoes... I love shoes. but it's hard for me to find good ones since I have horrible knees..
 and im tall so no heels :/

 I also want to buy nicer clothes lol
I can tell that Joe is into dressing up and I kind of want to start looking nicer..
I have this really nice suede and fur coat... and It's going to look awesome with my new boots... but I think i want to buy some like, nice sweaters or shirts or something... Idek.

no jeans until I get smaller.... like at least in the lowwww 150's.
I feel like i'm all talk on this blog now...
Im going to buy some more laxatives to help me get back on track once I get back to school.
and no more excuses for not working out.
or eating cookies.
or dinner rolls.
or candy.
or chocolate.


100 crunches min a day.
lots of water.
pop needs to become food.
not my water source.
I also need to do more calf raises.
and start to attempt finding space at the tanner in my apartment.
it's always full but I can probably figure something out to where I can get there as they open...


ummm idk,
food just needs to end.
it;s taking over my life again and making me feel disgusting.
I want to look amazing... and when I come back from winter break in January I will.
spring break will be awesome... no idea what i'm doing yet... but im going to look great doing it...even if it means sitting on my couch.
I just feel so saggy.. lol
like all this extra shit on me...needs to go.


I'll start running again... and hopefully when I get my car i'll be able to swim more... I just dont like the idea of sitting on the bus, let alone walking to the bus with wet hair...


I know that swimming is what helped me stay skinny in high school... but at the same time.. I was doing it for like 4 hours a day... so running may have to be my option.


I found this car shop today which has many cars from $1000-$5000
and I found this 2000 black Plymouth breeze with only 69,000 miles for $3500 and we can possibly talk it down... just have to give it a test run and have dad check it out. 
It almost seems to good to be true... so Im sure i'll be back on here friday afternoon telling you all how it didnt workout lol.


what makes me laugh is that Im getting a $3000 loan for the car.
I have just got a $2500 check for my loan.
and I have $3300 in an account
not to mention the over $1000 in my savings.
I could get a pretty sweet car...
but I won't.


anyway I guess i'm going to bed.
I weighed myself on moms scale which is always a few pounds up. 166... i think its 3 pounds high...


I'll post tomorrow and tell you how everything goes.


Love you all so much.


Good luck with Thanksgiving..

Update#2
I just binged.
the fuck?
I ate today... its not like i'm starving.

ugg o well tomorrow would just ruin any progress anyway...
ugggggggg
it was under 500 cals.... but still.
whatever.

good night.