SO BASICALLY.... Starve on.

lol.

This morning...well more likr afternoon.  I had two waffles, a ton of raspberries, and turkey bacon...
I came come for the night? random? haha my roommate decided at 9pm that she wanted to come home haha...for less than 24 hours.

So we somehow made the hour, 20 minite drive in under 50 minutes.

I hung out with a couple guy friends.
I made out with Jake... the fuck. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND. lmao.
WE played strip poker.
BTW I didnt drink obvi.
There was only one other girl there and she was pretty fat... so I was good :) haha

It's like 3pm and Joe hasn't texted me.. but he's hunting.
He's supposed to be coming over tonight... I refuse to text him first tho.
I decided when he comes over, or if I go over there... lol when I see him, Im just gonna run up to him and give him a huge kiss lol.  None of this bullshit act like we're just friends until we're under the covers lol.
OMG if he doens't come over tho... I will be pissed haha.

So yea.
all i do is fucking eat and it needs to stop.
Being home reminds me of how great I did all summer.
I mena I lost like 31 pounds over the summer... well a little less but still I went from 181 to 154 which is legit!
And now im like 162, which is 8 pounds up... and I NEED to get it back off ASAP.
Im working out today.  It's gonna happen, I promise.
When I come home for break I may just use my old gym pass lol.
Like my membership is up but I can go for 1 dollar a day... or i'll just do p90x here.

I do not want to eat... I will eat tea and gum.
It's goingto happen.
When i get back from thanksgiving break I WILL be 156.
IT WILL happen :)
I dont care if I have to sleep the whole week to get there.
By next Monday morning I WILL be 156.
thats 6 pounds in 8 days.
Totally possible.

I want to buy a new bracelet for a reminder....
Not sure what I want it to look like but it will have to remind me of things that make me want to be skinny.
It's funny because over halloween everyone said how skinny I looked... even tho I was like 168.
and then last night my friend Levi was like Kels, you look soooo much better han you did senior year! You have lost so much weight!
even tho... I think I wasl ike 155-162 then lol... what ever :)

so yes.
Starving=plan.
water.
ice.
tea.
diet coke.
diet anything.
zero anything.

I WILL work out.
and abs. yes to abs.
I can make my abs nice, it works out good lol.

This WILL happen. I haven't been this motivated in a long time.

Food. What's food?

I need to go stock up on diet pop tho lol.

like straight up, buy 2 2liters lol.


I dont even know... I just want to feel like fast weight loss. It's suck a high. and I can't drink or smoke anymore so it's all that I really have left anyways.

Oh did I mention that I talked to Brad last night? haha he texted me lol.

And we basically told each other how much we love one another and i apologized over and over and I think we can hopefully be a little bit more civil now lol.
im am not anywhere near getting back together with him tho.
I like this Joe guy soooo much.  But knowing how bad it hurts Brad really does kill me.
And I think that's the one thing that really make me not even care to ever me in another facebook relationship lol.
Because it's just so dumb lol. and will piss him off haha.

but yea...

Heres to getting skinny and to cuddling naked with cute guys ;)

Love you girls sooo much :)

Kels