Alone.

I dont know what's going on with me.

I'm usually such a positive person.

Basically Im having an anxiety attack about being alone.

I'm so dumb.

I just had the thought that I'll die old and lonely.

It's my worst fear.

Why can't I be happy?

Why do I have such thick walls built around me?

Why do I let the wrong people break them down?

It's rough how easily I get hurt....I can't let this happen anymore... I'm not going to let small things bother me.  I'm going to become more selfish and focus on me and me only.

I'm not sure why I have this idea in my head that I need a guy to be happy.

It's stupid really.

I hate the fact that I can't sleep alone at night.

I just am so scared... it's like a comfort thing... and it makes me miss Brad so much.

But I need to be strong and realize that I'm going to find someone better.

Joe's status says that: he had a great weekend =)

I don't think he had that much fun on Friday when I was with him.... so obviously it was last night.... and he wouldnt text me back and was being really shady about everything.

I think i'm over him lol.

is that weird? like nothing good is coming out of this for me.

so.. on to the next one! lol.

or I'll just take a break from guys hahaah that works too.

Some pics from Friday....

 I look retarded... that's Joe in the back with the short hair...

 Emily and me! I love her :)

Joe's roommate Brad ahahah and me and Emily.  Brad is hilarioussss

There are pics from Saturday.... but I'm not sure what camera they were on and who or when they will be posted lol... I just hope they are cute lol.

all right.

I promise to try and focus more on what this blog was intended for.

I mean I guess it was intended on talking about my life,  but I do need to lose weight...

I need to be more positive too.

I guess I just don't understand why I can never get the guy I want lol.

I did text joe.. and I did invite him somewhere lmao.

I wasn't supposed to do either... but my friend is having a fundraiser at the movie theatre on Thurdsay so I invited him along.

I promise to make you girls proud tomorrow.

No texting joe, if he texts me wait at least 30 minutes to text back.

Eat little to non.

We all know I'll eat but I promise to keep it minimal.

I have two exams on Tuesday and a paper due tomorrow night at midnight so running may not happen but I promise to try!

I love you girls so much.

I also promise to comment more! I have just been so busy lately!

Love youuuuuuuuu

Kels