Tired. Sad. urg. Survey.

Why does the joy of losing weight only last for a few hours?

I was so excited this morning, and then period craps and bloating kicked in, and now I feel like I look 175 again...

I guess I have these irrational fears of gaining like 10 pounds in a day... which I know is impossible.... but still.

Food went well today.
210 at breakfast
snacks throughout day at pool:
Yogurt:80
2 rice cakes:100
little apple: 50
blueberries:39
propel:20

Total: 499 niceee

Dinner after my shower will be the soup in a cup: 50
and proably a turkey sandwich: 120
Total for day: 669

Rather low, I wanted to stay at 800 at the least. It's been working out great so far. I may have a 90% juice popsicle later on: 60 so im still at 729

Thanks for the all the nice comments on the pictures :]
I was so rushed this morning that I didnt even get the chance to tell you all my opinion on them.

My back/ribcage is still HUGE from swimming. Those underwear made me look bloated haha. Thighs... need work. Stomach, the bottom has always stuck out like that... haha
However my arms and collarbones look a ton better :D

Hmmmmm. I didnt work out today... work wears me out so much, I sweated buckets today. I did ride my bike to and from work, almost got a ride home since I was so dizzy from the sun, and then I decidd I wasnt going to be a fat ass.

I have amazing thinspo and reverse all the time at work (mostly reverse) But this girl today, not sure how old she was. Im like 99% sure she has some sort of ED, sooooo skinny. Not sickly, but that perfect line between scary and beautiful. She wore a shirt in the water, and kept poking at her stomach...thats why im assuming the ED.

WELP off to scale, shower, and dinner!

Love you all :]

have a great night! :D

Lilah


Survey stolen from Robin @ too be thin


I AM...
[ ] anorexic
[x] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[x] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[ ] Under 100lbs
[at times] starving yourself
[ ] participating in a fast

PEOPLE...
[ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[ ] call me fat
[ ] say I’m skinny
[ ] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[ ] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[ ] say I eat too much
[ ] wish I’d eat more
[x] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic/ednos

I WISH...
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[ ] I didn't have to eat
[ ] I could control myself
[ ] I was under 110lbs
[ ] I could avoid food
[ ] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia

I LOVE...
[x] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference when fasting
[ ] shaking
[ ] being weak
[x] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic
[x] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

APPEARANCE...
[ ] I am shorter than 5'4. I am 5"4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes
[ ] I have many scars
[x] I tan easily
[ ] I wish my hair was a different color
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
[x] I have a tattoo
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance
[x] I had braces
[ ] I wear glasses
[ ] I wear contacts
[ ] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100 safe, free of cost, and scar-free
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger
[x] I have more than 2 piercings
[x ] I have piercings in places besides my ears
[a couple] I have freckles

FAMILY...
[x] I've sworn at my parents
[ ] I've run away from home
[ ] I've been kicked out of the house
[x] My biological parents are together
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old
[x] I want to have kids someday
[ ] I've had children
[ ] I've lost a child

EMBARRASSMENT...
[ ] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation
[x] Disney movies still make me cry
[ ] I've peed from laughing
[ ] I've snorted while laughing
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried
[ ] I've glued my hand to something
[ ] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose
[x] I've had my trousers rip in public

RELATIONSHIPS...
[ ] I'm single
[x] I'm in a relationship
[ ] I'm engaged
[ ] I'm married
[ ] I've gone on a blind date
[ ] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper
[x] I miss someone right now
[x] I have a fear of abandonment
[x] I've cheated in a relationship
[ ] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't
[ ] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship

SEXUALITY...
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
[ ] I've had a crush on a teacher
[x] I am a cuddler
[x] I've been kissed in the rain
[x] I've hugged a stranger
[x] I have kissed a stranger

HONESTY...
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't
[x] I've snuck out of my house
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game
[x] I've cheated on a test
[ ] I've been suspended from school

BAD TIMES...
[x] I've consumed alcohol
[ ] I drink regularly
[ ] I can't swallow pills
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression
[x] I shut others out when I'm upset
[x for anxiety...] I take anti-depressants
[x] I'm anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose
[ ] I'm addicted/ have been addicted to self harm
[x] I've woken up crying
[x] I've lost weight
[x] I've gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me.
[ ] I'm at my thinnest
[ ] I'm at my biggest
[x] I've lost weight and kept it off
[x] I've lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[x] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[x] I thrive on compliments
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[ ] I feel happy when I'm hungry
[ ] I get depressed after I eat
[x] I've skipped a meal
[x] I've thrown food away
[x] I've spit food out
[x] I've fasted
[ ] I've taken diet pills
[ ] I've used laxatives
[x] I've purged
[ ] Bulimia
[ ] Orthorexia
[x] Over-exercising
[ ] Binge eating
[x] I exercise
[x] I exercise so I can eat
[ ] I work out secretly
[I try ] I work out daily
[x] I exercise to counteract eating
[ ] I've fainted from exhaustion

I'VE DONE...
[x] Weed
[x] Cigarettes
[x] Alcohol
[ ] Diet pills
[x] Pain killers
[perscribed ] Anti-depressants
[ ] Ecstasy
[ ] LSD
[ ] Mushrooms
[ ] Speed
[ ] Cocaine

<>OTHER QUESTIONS
[x] I keep my eating habits a secret
[x] I have an ED blog
[x] I look at thinspo
[ ] I collect thinspo
[x] I condone pro-ana/mia sites
[x] I count calories
[x] I've had negative intake days
[x] I avoid food
[ ] I hate food
[x] I love food, it's a love/hate relationship
[x] I want to be this way
[ ] I don't want to be like this
[x] I wish I could have more control
[x] Being thin is my top priority sometimes
[x] I don't want to get better
[ ] I am in treatment
[x] I'm doing this for me
[x] I'm doing this for someone
[x] I'm doing this to prove myself
<3