I miss being an inspiration to people.
I miss the scale going down.
I miss being able to stave.
I miss feeling in control.
I miss feeling skinnier, even when I was 169 pounds.
I miss when I could look at food and then turn my back on it.
I miss working out everyday.
I miss all of you wonderful ladies.
I miss believing my goals.
I miss all of this.
I'll get it back.
I know I will eventually.
2 of my roommates just went shopping.
Im eating a lean cuisine... 280 calories.
Today wasnt horrible... not a great day tho.
Im running out of food in my apartment. I currently have:
Soy milk
Orange Juice
an egg that is probabyl expired
Juice that was meant to be a chaser
A shit ton of yogurt (4 different kinds)
Oatmeal
Ricecakes
Ramen noodles ( that Im not going to eat)
Cereal (special K, cheerios, rice crispies)
Rice cakes
spinich leaves
an orange
a sugar free red bull
a green peper
Special K bars
Chewy bars
2 frozen "healthy" dinners
Frozen blueberries
wheat noodles
and a couple candy corn that I want to be gone, so I keep eating them.
Im not going shopping untill I absolutely have to.
Im tempted to try and drag my food supply out until I get a bridge card, but that could be a month or so..... o well.
Luckily I get all the fresh fruits and veggies I want at work.
I need to lose weight, but Im a lazy fuck now,
Oh take that back, I do work out a lot, and have class and a bunch of homeowork... but still.
I want to be skinny again. Tomorrow is a new day and Im really planning on doing something about it this time.
I love you girls sooo much and I want to make you proud.
I want to post of picture of myself for all of you to see, and I want you to say wow, she actually did it.
We'll see...
I love you all so much.
Have a great night.
Lilah
oh common you can do it!!
ReplyDeleteok i have a suggestion for you .. tell me one thing you really want to do for one week and i will help you do it but in return you have to kick ball me to hell about the binge purging!! .. i just don't want it enough and i have to want to stop!
let me know what you think :) wish i didn't live in iceland then we could be texting buddies.. i wish i could do that :( it would be so amazing!
Please cheer up! You will get the control back! Soon you will be at your goal weight and you'll be very happy! Stay positive and strong!
ReplyDeletewhat? you can't even tell my size in that picture. but thanks.
ReplyDeleteyou'll be back to your inspiring self in no time. sounds like you already have your attitude in the right place. stay strong, darling.
xoxo
zette
You always inspire me, you really do. You will get back on form, I know you will.
ReplyDeleteI love you, you know that.
X
Hope you get to feeling better. I find I always eat less when there is less in my house to eat... Grocery shopping kills me!
ReplyDelete