So I started out great.
Green Tea for breakfast (0)
Then I had coffee at work...
Then our whole computer system shut down so I was the only on on cashier with tons of people in line.
The in the middle of work, while going insane, I get my period. Which yes, like I always say, is better than no period, but still it was hell...
So I went on break and had a bowl of peas....
go back on the cash register, like another 100 people come through, or and did I mention we have to have the cash drawer out of the register? adn then next to be is my student supervisor who is attempting to ring poeple up with cash and constantly ashing me what prices are... which I know about 60% by heart including tax...
Any way. Not a great situation for someone with anxiety...
I end up eating like 4 chocolate balls...
and then luch at 2 was a small bowl of tomato soup and broccoli..
which isn't bad...
but then I had a cookie...
and a thing of jones soda candy (120)
and then an odwalla smoothie...
and an odwally bar and lean cuisine for dinner..
and now im eating an orange..
I hate this part of the day because im in such a weird mood where it's like I don't care enough any more...
I would guess that I weighed around 157.8ish this morning... but I NEED to get to 153 soooon
I just hate where I am at.
I am meeting the family I am babysitting for tonight. We'll see how this goes...
right now I work 20 hours plus whatever I work for them so i'll be making bank... kinda..
I had my phone interview for a bridge card today... it's basically like food stamps...a lot of college kinds in michigan get them..
any way she wants be to send her a copy of my drivers license, my pay stubs from sork over the summer, a letter from my old job telling why I left ( the pool fucking closed? it got cold? like serisouly...)
and like 5 other things from my landlord... and a couple other.. all my friends didnt have to do that... so im going in on friday and telling them its basically impossible for me to get all that... we'll see what happens...
God I want to just live with all of you people in a huge sorority house haha.
We canbe Sigma Delta... get it? ED? haha... ok bad joke..
Anyway! I neeeed to get better...
this eating thing has to stop soon... lol
At least before halloween....
I love everyone of you.
thanks for the supportive comments :)
Lilah
yikes. sorry about the high intake. that had to be uncomfortable. agreed. it'd be nice to be closer to the ladies on here. oh well. hang in there, babygirl.
ReplyDelete&i'm only a little smaller. but don't be jealous. i'm a whale.
xoxo
zette
there is alway tomorrow.. maybe if you start thinking about it this way.. you can have all the healthy stuff without guilt, but if you have a cookie or something you know is bad you have to exercise it off! it's a must .. so you can either have the cookie .. a large one is often between 300-500cals so you can eat it and then go speed running for an hour or just skip it :) have a glass of water instead :)
ReplyDeleteoh and i just saw your comment .. haha it was funny :D but yeah i'm gonna do this! i'm gonna try to like clean my room every time i want to eat.. it's gonna be one hell of a tidy room i tell yah!
ReplyDeletei'm still not sure if i'm gonna quit smoking or not .. AAA .. it's like i have these 3 things .. smoking, binge purging and pepsi max.. i want to quit all of them but their all i have ..
i think i need to replace them with
exercising, starving/control eating, and maybe i'll just keep the pepsi max for now ..
so yeah wow this thing takes up a lot of space in your head.. i had never started smoking, was a regular size with no food problems.. what would i worry about?? srsly what would life be like?! an easy breeze?? i guess so ..
oh god i just rambled on in your blog post!! SRY!