Decisions.

 UPDATE: on bus lol
so I've made some new "rules" for myself.  That legit need to happen
1.) do not text Joe unless he rexts me first.  Lol.  This is a must haha
2.) eat breakfast everyday
3.) actually go to all of my classes.
4.) no naps unless I have an excuss, such as today, I only got 3 hours of sleep.
5.) no food past 6, unless I'm home and dinner islater.
6.) work out as much as possible...make a plan everyday that includes a workout....and now my phone is being gay and won't let me croll down to see what I'm writing....lol so I'll finish this list later lmao



rad deleted me on facebook lol.

Mature? ha.

I spent the night at Joe's again.

It was fun... we still didn't have sex though which is probably a good thing.

My problem is that I over think things like crazy and am sitting here thinking of the many reasons why not ahaha.

1.) Genuine good guy? Small chances... lol

2.) Doesn't want me to get attached?  well if that's the case he's too late anyway haha.

3.) Actually likes me and wants to save something? HIGHLY doubtful

4.) Has an STD which I really hope not because it will now be all over my mouth. lmao.

5.) My dick sucking flexibilities are so damn amazing that basically, he can't make it past 3rd base :) We're gonna go with that one.

Haha sorry for any younger readers... I should really put that 18+ thing on here.... naw too lazy.. and I hate that buttons.

So I've made another mental list.

Decisions on what needs to happen.

1.) Play hard to get. If I don't, this relationship is probably not going to go anywhere because I have made myself wayyy too available.

2.)stop eating fucking icecream. and ramen noodles.

3.)weigh 159 my monday morning.

4.)weigh 155 my the time I get back from Thanksgiving break.

5.)weigh 149 by Christmas.

that's my problem... like even though we went on a couple dates... he kisses me goodbye and shit.... we text all day... I feel like the "fuck buddy" vibe goin on.... minus the fuck. = buddy. damn it.

After I get back from break.  I'm going ot be hot.  This has been decided.  I have Tuesday-Monday morning back home.

I am debating going tanning, I'll probably get my nails done, im having my mom pluck my eyebrows to perfection, i'm running everyday, EVERYDAY.

Thanksgiving food will be kept to a minimum.

I've already figured it out.

eat a shit ton of veggies and water.

turkey is ok,minimal gravy

1, repeat 1 serving of mashed potatoes and gravy

some cranberry sauce

1. 1.... dinner roll.

If I can do that and not really eat all day I will be fine :)

So Im getting ready for work.

I think ill at a nutragrain bar and then keep food to veggies and fruits all day

This weekend will be tough since i have no healthy food.

So the goal is: oatmeal andyogurt.

Workout everyday. EVERDAY.

This needs to happen.

I will weigh 155 coming back to school.

Over winter break.

It's fucking going down like none other.

I NEED to get hot.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not an ugly person.... but this fat is hiding a ton of potential.

I want Joe to want me as much as I want him.

He shaved his chest last night. Why do i find that so fucking sexy?.

Alright i have to go to work now lol.

Love you all :)

Lilah