So believe it or not I have actually been forcing myself to puke for the last... hmm 5 days? at least... I dont know I lost count...
I'm off my celexa.... which actually helped to depress the ED feelings.... maybe that explains it? I stopped taking it becuase i wasnt to see if I lose weight...
Oh and did I tell ya'll? I finally got my leg checked out.... Posterior Tibial Tendonitis... Fuck. Can't even run for another 2 months.... let alone walk much. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Help me you guys.... what should I do? I can bike a bit... but it all hurts sooo much... Even swimming hurts!!! All I've been doing is binging and purging because I freking out all the time. I refuse to get on the scale... I just need to get things under control... I was with Carey tonight... I drove over there, I think that he was just tired from working a lot... but I can't help but think that I've gotten so much fatter and he's becoming less attracted to me....
god.
this.
needs.
to.
stop.
So I got some wendys... then threw it up in the car while driving... in a paper bag... that leaked all over me.... bad. fucking. idea. Karma right?
I guess making yourself throw up is a bad idea in itself...
Don't worry though... I stoping soon.
I know it's just a faze...
these always pass.
Although, not gonna lie, I'm kinda impressed with how much I cant force back up now...
pathetic.
MY LEG FUCKING HURTS.
and my stomach is huge.
Also... when am I supposed to get this period? It better happen soon that's for damn sure....
Dude ! Suck! I've never heard of that but it sounds bad... Time for a water fast, or a long juice fast. Start with one day, then two, three... Pretty soon you'll be surprised at how much you'll want to push yourself further..
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