hmph

one day I'll be back to being small.
not today... maybe not tomorrow.
but one day.

I keep eating, a lot. Then throwing it up, sometimes.

I really need to get control over this super soon.
like right now.

I think I may go for a run in a bit even tho i'm not supposed to because of my leg... but even if I just one run last around my complex (.69 mile) it's somethingggg. actually... I think I'm going to do some exercises around the house haha

My boyfriend turned 21 last Wednesday and it was a blast... I obviously missed the whole bar experience but before and after were awesome.  He told me he loved me for the 1st time before we started drinking an it was super cute... def made my night, or month... haha. But his friend, who is 32 btw, is like super into drugs and brought some molly back to the party when they came home from the bar.. so we ate it... and legit like, nothing happened... what a faill...

Oh! We saw blind melon on Sunday night, that was awesome.
Carey blacked out tho so that was kinda scary.. like, he was conscious and what not but doesnt remember anything... and we drank that same amount and I was fine to drive home... so I thought that he may have been drugged or something... but he also just started taking his lexapro again so it could def be that...

It's weird,I am seriously in love with this guy when we are together, but when we aren't it just feels kinda weird.  I think it has to do with the fact that he lives at home and really can't stand his parents... he's different around them too... He said that it because he doesn't feel that he can be himself around them... but whatever. I'm just hoping that he can move back to my city asap.

Alright... I'm gonna go do crunches or something... I'm givin plasma for money in the morning (hopefully) I've gone 3 times and each time they were full, so I'm going to get there super early and just hope for the best!! I need to basically come up with a little over 100 bucks by the 1st of July in order to pay for my rent and car... but sis is going to let me borrow money eithr way so im not too worried :P

<3 <3 <3

I'll try to eat less tomorrow.
Promise.