long story short.

I'm at my highest weight ever. 188.8 wtf... it's funny, I don't look that big tho.
I mean, I gained 34 pounds since september... so im obvi kinda big.. but still.

Today is my birthday, im 20 and i for real feel super old.
I will be skinny on my 21st. That was the real goal since like last year.

I stopped taking my birth control and anxiety meds 3 months ago and actually gained weight, So Im thinking up just getting back on them.

I havent been able to run in 3 months due to posterior tibialis tendonitis but i'm saying fuck it and trying to run this morning :)

I''m going to lose this weight.
That's a promise.
My eating has significantly gotten better and I'm not binging anymore.

I think the weight gain is primarily alcohol, and from smoking weed.

I also think I'm developing a slight addiction for alcohol and am going to try and pawn that off on to exercising more.

I want to lose 40 pounds this time, and my goal for now is 2 pounds a week min.
I should, hopefully be 186.8 or less on monday, and then 2 a week from there on out.

It's so gay starting over like this.... but It's what has to happen,
I'm glad I'm finally back.

I want to do this the right way... I don't want to binge anymore and I definitely don't want to puke either.

So I'm going to do this, this is it.

Healthy time starts now.
I have exactly 1 year to be happy in this body :)

-<3 <3