don't know what to title this.

Didn't eat much at all today...
got back down to 177.6
so I'm only a pound up from my low. (recent low)

I'm jsut fucking depressed as fuck right now.

I have no cute clothes to wear...
my roommates gf is a size 0. she said she would have brought a dress for me to wear.
ARE YOU FUCKING kidding me?

god dammit I don't even want to go out.
I just want to sit in my bed and cry.
I know some of you can relate to this and it just really fucking sucks.

now we have my roommate... who is also like a 1... and they have to sit there ans ask me if they look ok...
that was me like 5 years ago..
when I was 102 pounds...
I guess its karma... now I know what I put my fat friends through.

fucking fail.
I'm prolly like a 10 right now...

and I just can't do it anymore...
I don't want to eat...
ever again.
Im stopping.
literally
I think I can do it.
I just don't care enough about my life to eat.

I'm not saying this for people to tell me anything else... it's just how I feel.

I'm sure the small amounts of alcohol aren't helping either...

fuck it.
I'm getting trashed.

I have no food in my system... a little chex mix from 4 hours ago... that's it.

see ya on the drunk side.
effff.

I'll post a better post tomorrow.
sorry...