I just ate ramen and texas toast with nutella...
I want to puke sooo bad but my boy is asleep in my bed... that would go over well... I guess I could go puke over my balcony?... bad idea.
I already made myself puke when I was drunk the other night... so I dont want to freak him out too much.
Im getting on the scale soon... I just know that I fucked up this weekend very bad.
Swimming everyday this week.
Bought more cigs so that should help with the appetite.
My boyfriend weights 155... so I need to be less than that before I feel completely comfortable... like I know he could really care less... but still.
It really worries me how much I like him and how easy i'm falling for him.
I didn't really want to get his serious this quickly... but idk.. there's just something there.
The way he talks about our future so much just gives me this sense of trust that I've never really had with anyone before.
Like earlier I was telling him how I heard this saying that if you put a penny in a bucket everytime you have sex during your first year of marriage, and then take one out everytime after that... you will never empty it.. thought it was funny and was like, ummmm ef that.
Then he goes well when we get married we'll have to try it out... then looked back at me and was like, uhh sorry, not to freak you out haha... I guess I just really like you.
Idk... I really actually do think that I love this guy.. .and I kind of want to say it to him... but 1.)I don't want him to freak out. 2.) I dont want him to think he has to say it. and 3.) The whole love thing really does scare the shit out of me lol.
jeeeezzzz I don't even know what to do anymore... at least I'm happy I guess.
alright ladies. I will post tomorrow night and tell ya'll how my "diet" goes hahaha... I swear I'm doing this damn master cleanse soon....
<3 <3 <3
K. When you start the master cleanse... tell me! I'm moving away early (without the bf) and would prooooobably be able to finish it this time lol.
ReplyDeleteI heard that saying (about marriage & sex & pennies) recently on 'The Secret Life of the American Teenage'. I'm not sure why I watch that show, lol, but I guess maybe it's like a cheap drug that gets you hooked or something.
ReplyDeleteWe all just have to remember that one bad night/day or binge or choice can easily be made up by having a couple goods ones & try to focus on doing better instead of getting down about the bad.
Thats so sweet that you have someone like this in your life. my advice. Just take it slow and let things happen. Its easier said than done but by the way you talk about this guy he seems really into you:) I dont think you would freak him out, but im all about the guy taking the first step. Let him drop he L-bomb, and then you can tell him you have been thinking it all along... or not you dont have to listen to me:P
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the cleanse! I need to do one of these!! Take care of yourself girl! You are doing so great!
xxo
Rach