maintaing.

So I've been maintaining at 177.? for the past 3 days... which I'm actually ok with...
My BF is up here and so I am actually surprised I've been able to mantain... my control is still fairly good... he went to mcdonalds and the thought of ordering something didn't ever cross my mind, so definitely making much needed progress.
He keeps saying how good I look, so that's def keeping me on track as well.
I've drank the last 3 days... so I was def scared about the cals of alcohol... but I've kept my food cals down so low that it's not really having to harsh of an adverse effect.

ummm... OH
so got wasted last night.. I ended up crying?
my tolerance is shit now that I'm not really eating again...

so I ALMOST told Carey about my Eating shit last night in my drunken stupor aha... I don't even know what to call whatever I "have" but thank god I didn't... the only person I've ever told is my ex... who didn't really seem to GAF and one of my bestfriends, Jack... whom I've really only attempted to explain things to while intoxicated... so that is obviously a rather sloshy view of my life for him lol.

but then this morning I realized that it was def a good thing that I did not tell him... although I'm pretty sure he noticed something about me is crazy when I took 2 hours in a grocery store to buy only $45 worth of food... lol

anyways! Went shopping today! The food I got:
ham
turkey
35 cal a slice bread
tomato soup packs: 90 cal
chicken soup packs: 45
yogurt:80
jello: 10
skim milk
low fat cottage cheese
a few other things I'm sure I just forgot to mention
this fuckign amazing cracker biscuits? only 32 cals for 2! and they kinda taste like cookies to me! and I'm not gonna lie... I dipped them in my roommates nutella a bit... but I've given him so much weed these last couple weeks that I don't even really feel all that bad lmao.

ummm what else.
Being pretty productive
book ready to ship out...
bought a few books.
all signed up for classes...
hopefully figures out old consumers bill..
Need to take care of charter bill tomorrow...

uhhh... i'm boring you all I know...

I found one of my roommates magic bullet today!
so of course made an alcoholic beverage with it...

I've been drinking malibu/pineapple juices... really good... with some 151

Also made this amazing new drink while high...
coffee,milk,protein powder,cinnamon,malibu, ice... all blended together... amazing.

sorry if I offened anyone with my recent weed kick I've been on.. it will slowly pass...
also my bf has decided to finally quit smoking and actually bought nicotine gum... hmmm. super proud.

I'm REALLY hoping for 176.? tomorrow... that would be amazing. I wkae up in 6 hours and I'm at 177.8 ... so it will be a close one.

I think I may swim tomorrow? get a few miles in... we'll see.

Sorry for such a long/boring/retard post...
whatever.
Love you girls.
I know I'm shit at commenting but I PROMISE this will be soon to change.

<3 <3 <3